Adventures In Parodyverse: An Ordinary Dinner (special edition)

Adventures In Parodyverse - An Ordinary Dinner

    "I can't believe you did this, Dream," Hatman groaned. He had just returned from an exhausting battle with yet another crazed lunatic downtown, and was seeking some much needed rest. Unfortunately, as he learned while he removed his costume, CrazySugarFreakBoy! had plans for him.

    "Jay, it's perfect, I swear," Dream replied.

    "Any chance of cancelling it?" Jay asked.

    The wired wonder shook his head. "By now she'll already be on her way to the restaurant. Besides, April will be accompanying me, and she's depending on you to complete the double date."

    "Double date," Jay scoffed. "Why did I think I was going to get to rest?"

    "You don't trust me?" Dream asked.

    Jay paused for a moment in disbelief. "Don't you keep trying to fix me up with your mom?" He suddenly looked horrified. "This blind date isn't your mom, is it?"

    "Jay, Jay, you'll never have any fun thinking that way," CSFB! laughed. He led Jay carefully out the door. "C'mon, the girls are waiting."

---

    Dreamcatcher Foxglove almost had to shove Jay Boaz into an Italian restaurant in downtown Paradopolis. It was a place selected by April, being slightly fancier than Dream was used to, yet it was still casual enough not to make anyone uncomfortable...

    ...except Jay, of course, who had been set up with someone who was, so far, completely anonymous. He entered the dark establishment warily, almost afraid to speak or make his presence known lest he be recognized by his blind date, in case he decided to make a run for it at the last second.

    "Mr. Foxglove," the woman at the reception desk announced as he approached. "The rest of your party is in the bar area waiting to be seated. Mr. Boaz, your party is here as well, you'll be seated shortly."

    Jay had time to give Dream one last horrified look before he walked into the bar area. He didn't know where to go, and nearly used that as an excuse...but then Dream pointed him to a table in the far corner, where a small woman with long, dark hair sat looking at the television above the bar.

    He approached the table slowly and grabbed the chair opposite the woman, and waited for her to look over at him.

    "I'm waiting for someone," she said without looking away from the TV.

    "Jay Boaz?" he asked, half hoping she was waiting for someone else.

    The woman finally turned around. He could see that she was Asian. He also vaguely recognized her from somewhere...and for some reason, that sent a chill down his spine.

    "Please, have a seat," she urged him as she smiled warmly.

    Jay sat down quickly. Once he did, his memory finally caught up, and he realized who it was. "Keiko Chinato. You're the assassin who was at Sir Mumphrey's party."

    "Keiko Takashi, actually," she corrected. "Chinato is a false name I used for a while. And I'm a former assassin."

    "Oh," Jay replied in a small voice, sounding as if he was afraid she might kill him right there. "Sorry."

    "Don't worry about it," she widened her smile a little. She looked away from Jay when a waiter approached.

    "Your table is ready," he said.

    Keiko stood and politely offered an arm to Jay. He took it and followed the waiter to the table. Jay took the initiative and pulled out the chair for Keiko, waiting until she was seated first.

    "Thank you," Keiko said. "That's very sweet." She waited until Jay was seated and they had both ordered before she spoke to him again. "Tell me," she asked, "Were you bullied into this blind date by your friend?"

    Jay looked shaken for a moment, but he tried to keep his composure. "Bullied? What do you mean?"

    "You seem as if you would rather be somewhere else," Keiko told him. "It's not me, is it?"

    "No, no." He finally smiled. "It's just that...I had a very long day, and...yes, I was kind of ambushed with this by Dream."

    "I'm sorry, I didn't know," Keiko spoke softly. "I suppose I should try to keep our meeting brief, calm, and soothing."

    Jay smiled. "Brief isn't necessary, Keiko. But I would appreciate calm and soothing."

    Keiko looked up when the appetizers arrived, and thanked the waiter. She then returned her attention to Jay. "Dream is quite the opposite of calm and soothing, isn't he?" she asked.

    Jay chuckled slightly. "Oh, yeah. I mean, he's a good friend, but...they don't call him the Wired Wonder for nothing."

    "What kind of long day was it?" she asked. "Have trouble with some bad guys?

    He shrugged, remembering that after being invited to Mumph's party she probably knew who he was. "Oh, the usual. Beating the bad guys was easy enough, but being pushed to my limits like that...I'll be sore for a couple of days."

    "I understand completely," Keiko replied. He could tell by the sympathetic look in her eyes that she actually did. It wasn't just words to try and make him feel better.

    "What do you do now if you're not an assassin?" Jay asked, feeling like taking a risk.

    "I'm a detective with the Garden City Police," she told him.

    Jay smiled at the irony. "That's quite a change in direction," he said.

    She nodded once. "So I've been told, many times." She looked up briefly when the meal arrived.

    "So what was it like, being an assassin? Did it ever eat at your conscience?"

    Keiko gave him an amused smile. "I did, occasionally. But like a soldier can adapt to war, I adapted to my career."

    "I just find it difficult to relate to," Jay told her. "I've dedicated myself, along with the Lair Legion, to preserving lives."

    "I ran away from that life, Jay," she said, "But not in shame. I did so to become something better."

    "You must have succeeded," Jay replied with a slight smile, "Because Dream was convinced we would get along. And he knows me pretty well."

    Keiko shrugged and laughed slightly. "I didn't expect we would agree on everything. We seem to be able to disagree civilly, however, which is comforting."

    "Comforting?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

    "Yes," she smiled. "Even as you debate something so potentially stressful with me you have a very calming presence."

    "Thank you," Jay answered.

    After a long pause, Keiko finally spoke up again. "Are you going to have dessert?"

    He shrugged. "Depends. Are you a dessert in a restaurant type or are you a walk and get some ice cream type?"

    "I like ice cream," Keiko replied. "And I like walking."

    Jay nodded. "Let's go."

---

    When Keiko arrived outside a moment or two behind Jay - she stopped to use the restroom - he seemed amused. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What?" she asked.

    "Interesting slight of hand," Jay noted. "I know you swapped my credit card out of the billfold and paid for the dinner with cash. That's why you handed it back to me."

    She sighed and slipped her hands into her jacket pockets. "I wanted to surprise you," she said. "You've been so nice to me. I thought paying stealthily would avoid the obligatory argument over who pays."

    "I bet it looks funny, us walking together," Jay changed the subject, "It was difficult to tell in the restaurant, but I can look right over the top of your head." He suddenly paused, and then said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that to sound insulting."

    Keiko laughed. "It's okay. You were bound to notice I'm short sooner or later. And I take it as a good sign, you feel comfortable enough around me to tease me. That's rare, for me."

    "Not many people feel comfortable around you?"

    She shook her head. "I have this reputation, you know. And even when that isn't a factor, I tend to keep my distance from people I don't know, at first. People see me as cold and distant at best, and vicious at worst."

    "To be honest, I was a little afraid you would be vicious," Jay told her. "I'm very relieved that you're so--" He paused, and stopped walking.

    When he stopped, Keiko stopped too. "I'm so...?" she prodded.

    "Sweet," he said, looking away from her and continuing his progression down the street. "You're not only...not vicious...you're one of the nicest blind dates."

    "You're not just saying that because some of the others tried to kill you?" Keiko asked. She smiled when Jay looked right at her. "Dream told me," she said. "He asked me to promise I wouldn't harm you."

    "Why did you agree to this blind date anyway?" he asked.

    "Curiosity, mostly," she replied with a shrug. "You're supposed to be one of the legends of the Lair Legion. When Dream approached me about a double date I thought it might be interesting to learn about you."

    "He didn't approach you about anything other than a double date, did he?"

    She laughed. "I expected him to, but he didn't. This April he mentioned must be good for him if he's becoming more respectful." She paused suddenly and turned around. "Where did you park?"

    "I didn't," he said. "I went to the restaurant with Dream."

    "Oh." Keiko reached into her jacket pocket again, and the sound of keys echoed through the fabric. "Would you accept a ride home from me?"

---

    The Lair Mansion seemed imposing late at night, the large complex sitting menacingly against the night sky. Aside from the gate and entrance lights, and a few lit windows, no other light was present...until the headlights of Keiko's rental car bathed the front gate, leaving bar-shaped shadows on the grounds beyond.

    "Who's there?" a muffled voice demanded through the speaker at the gate.

    "I'm bringing Hatman back," Keiko told the voice.

    "Who?" The muffled voice asked.

    "Open the gate, Flapjack!" Jay yelled at the speaker.

    After a moment of unintelligible grumbling, the gate sprung to life and slid open gracefully. Keiko drove along the circular driveway up to the entrance, and parked directly in front.

    Jay then sat and stared at Keiko for what seemed like an eternity, seeming as if he were contemplating asking her something but couldn't decide whether it was appropriate or not.

    "Would you like me to escort you inside?" Keiko asked. She smiled when he seemed taken aback by the question. "Jay, nearly all of my friends are guys. Nothing you can ask me will make me feel awkward or uncomfortable."

    He took a deep breath in, and then exhaled. "I...just didn't want you to think I was trying to--"

    "I know," she whispered, as she continued smiling. "Don't worry." She climbed out of the car and waited for Jay before approaching the front door.

    Flapjack opened the door almost immediately. He looked at Jay first, and then stared at Keiko, unmoving, forgetting to step out of the way to let the two in.

    "Flapjack," Jay warned.

    Flapjack stepped aside and nearly said something, but Jay interrupted him with a quick sound and an extended finger.

    "He was quieter than usual," Jay told Keiko as they walked up the stairs.

    "I met him at Mumphrey's party," she told him. "I think I gave him a nice lump on his head."

    Jay looked at her for a moment, and then started laughing as the picture formed in his mind. He finally stopped walking when they reached the room he was using at the Lair Mansion.

    As soon as he opened the door, Keiko stuck her head in the room and looked around. "Very nice accommodations," she said. "It's like a luxury hotel room."

    "Being a senior member has its privileges," Jay told her.

    She wasn't really listening, as she strolled over to an entire bookshelf dedicated to storing baseball caps and hats of various kinds. "Con-Ed?" she asked.

    "Sometimes you just need that feeling of power," Jay joked. He felt satisfied with the joke when she laughed.

    Keiko picked up a dusty cap reading 'American Ninja'. "Now this I find amusing. Does it work?"

    "Probably. I never tried it."

    She carefully tossed him the cap and stood perfectly still. "Let's try it."

    Jay frowned as he looked down at the cap. "I dunno. I don't want anyone to get hurt."

    "Proper discipline prevents accidents," she told him. "I'll allow you to strike first in case it doesn't work."

    Jay slapped the dusty cap against his wrist, releasing a cloud of dust, and then placed it over his head with the practice of a pro. He felt a rush of energy and speed as he approached Keiko quickly and slowed himself enough to aim a perfect strike at her shoulder. Not surprising, she dodged it and reached for the cap immediately. He blocked by folding his arms together over hers.

    But then she lunged forward, pulled herself up, and grabbed the bill of the cap with her teeth, yanking it off of his head and dropping it into her hand. She held it out to him gently. "You weren't really trying," she said.

    "I told you," Jay said. "I don't want anyone to get hurt."

    "Fair enough." Keiko shrugged and smiled. "You did well for not trying. It was fun."

    The door opened suddenly, and CrazySugarFreakBoy! stuck his head in the room. "What're you two up to?" he asked. "Anything kinky?"

    "We are standing three feet apart and fully clothed," Keiko pointed out. "Unless Jay has quite an amazing talent, I doubt it."

    CSFB! laughed out loud. "I like your sense of humor. I Really do. But I only stopped in to see how the date went."

    "We got along just fine," Jay told him.

    "And she's hot, just like I said," CSFB! added, ignoring the fact that Keiko rolled her eyes.

    Jay looked at Keiko warily before he replied, "Yes, she is. I guess you were right, I had nothing to worry about."

    "Cool." CSFB! nodded. "I'll see you guys later. April's waiting for me to introduce her to some new moves." He stepped back into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

    Keiko couldn't help but laugh out loud as soon as the door closed behind CSFB! "I didn't think he could be so subtle," she explained.

    "New moves." Jay laughed too, and nodded slowly. "Yeah. Subtle." He took a deep breath and paced a bit as he tried to think of what to say next. "So...what do you like to do? I mean...do you like dancing or anything?"

    "Dancing?" Keiko asked, seeming confused at first. She then shrugged and said, "I can. It's not--"

    "Not your favorite activity?" Jay asked.

    She smiled and nodded. "I suppose I've become a quiet person." She laughed.

    "I have just the thing for you," Jay said. He opened a small closet next to the television in his room to reveal a small collection of DVD's. "I have popcorn too. Anything you'd like to see?"

    Keiko picked up one of the DVD's and handed it to him. "You really are a nice guy. I would have expected most to try and make some sort of move on me."

    "I think I'll just wait until you make the first move," Jay replied. "There is still too much chance I could be killed for trying."

    She laughed at that. "No, no, I wouldn't kill you. I might give you a limp for a few days."

    "Seriously, though," Jay added. "I dunno, I feel kind of comfortable around you, and I like it."

    "I suppose I can take that as a compliment." She sat down and watched Jay feed the DVD to the DVD player. "Do you think your friend Dream will be disappointed that we were up late watching a movie?"

        Jay shook his head. "He'll be too busy bragging about his night with April."

    "What if he asks what you did?"

    He finally sat down just as the DVD began. "I'll just tell him we had a great time, and leave him to his imagination."

    "Fair enough." Keiko leaned back to calmly watch the movie.

    It was much later that night when Keiko gently hugged a very tired Jay and bid him good night. He as so exhausted by then, as soon as she left he crawled into his bed and went to sleep. It would be morning before he remembered what happened, wondering if his meeting with the Asian assassin was a dream or reality. Only his friend Dream would be able to tell him for sure.

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Keiko is from World Class (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, all rights reserved
-- All other characters property of their respective owners

Post By Anime Jason Sat Jan 29, 2005 at 12:31:29 pm EST	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: An Ordinary Dinner (special edition)

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